What money and AI can never replace: the grace of human care.
This article was originally published as opinion piece on TimesOfMalta.com by Mark Camilleri Gambin.
Everywhere you look, someone is showing off what they’ve bought, what they own and what they’ve built. It’s all over socials and never stops. But hidden by all that noise are people who leave me in awe: people who quietly give their lives to looking after someone else. Think of a father caring for a severely disabled child or an adult caring for an elderly parent. Most carry that weight every single day without complaining and without making a fuss. They do it because they know how to love. These are the people we should be signalling about.
Some burdens are beautiful burdens. Without any doubt they make life harder, but they’re also wellsprings of love. I’m not saying suffering is good. There’s nothing noble about pain on its own. What I mean is loving for the sake of loving. When you carry something heavy out of love, the carrying itself becomes something good.
Dr. Paul Farmer had a word for this: accompaniment. It means going with someone on their journey and staying until they say it’s done, not when you decide you’ve had enough. As he put it: “I’ll share your fate for awhile, and by ‘awhile’ I don’t mean ‘a little while.’” Accompaniment is rarely romantic in the moment. It is repetitive, exhausting, and lonely. It looks like setting alarms at 3:00 AM to give medication, sitting in waiting rooms for hours or patiently answering the same question for the tenth time. By acknowledging these acts we remind caregivers that while their burden is heavy, they do not have to carry the emotional weight of being unseen.
I want young people to appreciate the virtue of selflessness. It is very easy to get swept up in the chase for success and stuff, because money matters. You need it to live comfortably and to provide for the people you love. But as a goal in itself, it is terrible. Greed is a treadmill that never takes you anywhere. Money makes sense when you know what “enough” looks like for you. You need that definition to be able to step off the treadmill and focus on what actually makes you happy: finding a purpose, being there for someone, and yes possibly even the sweet spot of selfish selflessness, where doing good for others is exactly what makes you feel good.
Defining “enough” is harder today than ever because our screens are engineered to keep the goalposts moving. Social algorithms feed us endless highlights of someone else’s success, newer possessions, and faster career progressions. If you cannot intentionally decide what brings you peace, society will hand you an endless list of things to desire.
Recently my nephew asked me: what should I do in the age of AI? A lot of young people are rightfully anxious about this question.
My answer is to master the use of AI to do good. There are plenty of empty ways to use technology, but there are just as many ways to use it to ease someone’s suffering. Think about how you could make life a little better for someone who needs it. Be one of the people building and using technology for others.
That might mean building tools that simplify care coordination for families, reduce administrative burdens for medical workers, or connect isolated individuals with communities. As it is now easier than ever to build things, your creations can give humans more bandwidth to care.
My final advice is to focus on the skills that are uniquely human. Be there for people. Carry beautiful burdens. Love for the sake of loving because no machine can do that for us.
There is hope, you can help!
Join Momentum and build a better Malta. Volunteer, donate, or subscribe today!
